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You know you are getting old when
You don't think you are getting old but you keep seeing signs that other people think you are "getting older" when the following things are happening to you:
-people start holding the door for you when you are 50 feet from the door....
-Cars stop to let you cross the street .....
-When you travel on business the hotel puts you in a first floor room.
-Seventy five percent of the time hotels somehow assign you a handicap room.
-When you go to the handicap hotel room you have great difficulty opening the the auto door feature.
-At the airport the golf cart guy spots you and offers you a ride at the terminal.
-When boarding a plane they let you board first with first class and those needing extra time with no questions....
-When boarding the plane even though you clearly walked up on your own they ask if you want a wheel chair when you arrive at your destination.
-On your job you can't seem to get one thing done in a day and it seems like months go by accomplishing very little...
-They keep you on your job mainly because they think you won't last much longer, and letting you go would trigger an obvious age descrimation case.
-When you go to the feed store even though you went to the back of the store and carried the 50 pound bag on your shoulder they offer to carry it out to your truck.
-Your barber has trouble cutting your hair because many of the "few hairs" left on your head are not only white but almost translucent, he more or less dances the scissors over your balding cotton candy zone pretending to cut the fluff that remains....
-You have unusually long translucent hairs or ironically black ones growning in and around your ears that you cannot see but all of your younger co workers notice
-You cannot see the fact that you have long hairs growing out of your nostrils.
-There are few or no molars in your mouth that aren't capped.
.........
You are only getting old if you don't take the cart and turn down the handicap room ...etc.
YOU ARE OLD if you are pleased with the attention being paid to you
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You know you are getting old when
-And if your wife comes into read what you wrote on "you know you are getting old", while she is filling the kitchen sink to defrost a turkey, and she is reading your message so slowly that she forgets about the water and your kitchen is flooded. Maybe you are both getting old.......
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You know you are getting old when
- Whenever you drive even though you are going over the speed limit there is a long line of cars behind you as if you are in a funeral procession.
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You know you are getting old when
A couple more:
-You go to Wendys and they give you the 10% senior discount without asking for it.
-The oldest co worker in your department is 20 years younger than you.
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You know you are getting old when
More....
-You are convinced that the only reason people think you are old is because you believe that most men in business dye their hair making you look older because you don't.
-Your wifes' friends no longer tell her that her husband is handsome but rather that he is so "Dignified" looking.
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